Ever have one of those days where you wake up and discover the gym
you've been going to on a weekly basis for the past 3 years has replaced
your ID photo with a picture of your second cousin? Really? Maybe we
can form a support group of some sort.
It all started when I tried to find out when my locker rental expires.
Gym Guy: Hm...you're not registered for a locker.
Me: Really? I've been using one for the past seven months...
GG: What's the number? Well...it is registered to you...but it doesn't show up on your account.
He
pulls up my account on the computer, and suddenly I am staring into the
red-headed, photo-shoot-ready, smiling face of my second cousin. Sigh. I
explain the situation I have lived with for the last 22 years of my
life. Apparently, someone at the front desk saw that there were two
girls in the system with the exact same name (but different account
numbers, birth dates, addresses, and ID photos...) and thought the
second one was an accidental duplicate. ("No no, there couldn't possibly
be two Amys. Let's amalgamate them!") Thus, we get Cyborg Amy: her charming good looks, address, and stingy locker-less ways and my account number.
Then this case of mistaken identity gets even more fun. I show the guy my real ID, complete with photo.
GG: This is you?
Me: Yes.
GG: Are you sure?
I
had my photo taken at a time when I was rocking the Justin Bieber
hairstyle (and having an excellent hair day, if I do say so myself).
Apparently my photo of the Ghost of Lesbian Past does not compute with
my current lazy librarian haircut. I am an imposter twice over. What
happens when I don't look like my ID photo OR my cousin's?
Well,
they create an entirely new account for me, complete with new photo,
correct address, and middle initial to prove I'm the real Amy. BUT THEN
something far more exciting happens. They delete the Cyborg Amy account.
And now, for once in my life, I am, indeed, the only Amy in the system.
Apparently when MCC got new Donor software the default was to combine all accounts for persons with the same names living in the same community. Needless to say that was a problem for all the Peter Friesens living in Steinbach.
ReplyDeleteYou should just pay the $100 and legally change your name to something more unique.
Good thing Census Canada doesn't work that way. Steinbach's population would be reduced by about 50%
Deleteor you should pay the $100 and legally change the other Amy Groening's name to something more unique - since you got here first.
ReplyDeleteI approve
DeleteIf only our parents had had the foresight to give us all names skimmed from fantasy novels.
ReplyDeleteTrue. I suppose I could start going by my second name though, as is tradition.
Delete