Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm Un-Googleable!

Well, sort of.

Luckily, my dad doesn't talk to his cousins very much. At least, most of them (he has what, 96?). Because of this, 20-some odd years ago there was a little mixup and the family ended up with two Amys, with the same last name, born within a year of eachother, who lived in the same general area, both had a penchant for creativity, and both went to the pharmacy to fill a prescription for penicilin in 1992, which is how we found out about eachother. We also go to the same school and the same gym, and I think we have the same bank, too.

What I love about this is that the other Amy has grown up to be a bit of a crack-hoe a famous actress. I say this out of respect! Respect for the person who has made me basically invisible (and therefore INVINCIBLE) to the internet. No matter what information about me gets onto the internet, the other Amy's info will be way worse...or better...exciting, I should say, thrilling even...any rate, will make us both unemployable as Sunday School teachers. I googled myself today and found that 'I' have an IMDB listing (damn her and her fame!), that 'I' posed for some scantily-clad model shots from that time I was Hot Chick of the Week somewhere, that I am too lazy to fill out my Grow Creatively account, and that my facebook profile is readily available, complete with a picture of me licking a girl's face as the profile shot. At times I worry that the next job I apply for will call me for an interview on the grounds of how good I look in a bikini and will be shocked when I show up and am not the red-haired, brown-eyed actress they Googled last night. But mostly, I let Amy's monopolization of my Google space lull me into a false sense of security. If people are finding my cousin on Google, that means they're not finding me*.

Which leads me to the final chapter of this rant: while researching my latest news article (I write for the school paper now, btw. Very glamorous, I know), I came across a blog of 'ramblings' that had not only said blogger's 'ramblings' on it, but also her full name, where she goes to school, what her major is, her mailing address, email address, phone number, BBM account, twitter, facebook, and linkedin account on it*. Yikes. I was tempted, so sorely tempted, to start mailing her letters made out of cut-up newsprint with messages such as
"Get your mailing address off the internet, for Christ's sake!" on them. Poor girl. If only she had a second cousin to protect her good name.


*right right, not quite true. Eventually you'll find an article or two I've written for .

6 comments:

  1. It's true! I tried to google you once before and could only find movies by the other Amy Groening.

    Ironically, in Alberta there is a Tricia Prosser who I don't believe is any relation. She was more google-able than me when she was competing for Miss Wainwright, but my job now makes me come up far more often than I'm comfortable.

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  2. As long as you can blame your job for it, it's okay.

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  3. I just googled your name and found your picture, the one with the coffee blog, on the second page after only a handful of your cousins' and some Simpson characters ;-)

    Sure she's pretty, but so are you. If I was to give you a job, I wouldn't be disappointed (unless your CV stated two movies you never starred :D)

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  4. I had to Google your name after this...I have to ask though, is it you or the other Amy who is pro urban chickens?

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  5. hm...I am neither for nor against urban chickens. I may have signed a petition in support of someone else's chicken mission, though. I'm unsure.

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  6. @Stephanie B. Thanks! I will try not to put fictional achievements on my resume.

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